What I was working on for a while : "Rynn"

A  friend  called him" Moth boy".

(I sure would like to know who wrote this one! They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!) 
 
 
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job.  I work, they pay me.  I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.  In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem.  What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.  Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass o ne to earn it for them?  Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.  I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their A _ S, doing drugs, while I work. . . .  Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?  Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't.  Hope you all will pass it along , though . . . Something has to change in this country -- and soon

>>1. Sag, you're It.
>2. Hide and go pee.
>3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
>4. Kick the bucket.
>5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
>6. Musical recliners.
>7. Simon says something incoherent.
>8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

>SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
>1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
>2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
>3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

>OLD IS WHEN:
>1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
>2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have
>to go along.
>3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
>4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
>5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

>Thoughts for the weekend:
>Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press
>'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
>If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with
>something called labor!
>Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

>Ponderisms
>I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
>of natural causes.
>Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a
weed
>and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground
>easily, it is a valuable plant.
>The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
>Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway...
>Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about
>seeing UFOs like they used to?
>In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is
>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
>box to start a campfire?
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
>these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
>Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the
>next thing that comes outta its butt.'
>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going
>to look up there anyway?
>Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

>But Most Of All, Remember:
>A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable,
>And Always Close To Your Heart!

Thank you Karen my best friend and sister in law!^_^

On Relevant 'Logic'

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately;

illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

On singing OUR National Anthem in Spanish

I'm sorry, but after hearing they want to sing OUR National Anthem in Spanish -

enough is Too much!

NEVER did they sing it in Italian,Japanese, Polish, Irish-Celtic, German,

Portuguese, Greek, French, or any other language because of immigration.

It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it

was written. The news broadcasts gave a translation that's NOT even close.

Sorry if this offends anyone, but

THIS IS MY COUNTRY!

Do YOU - sing MY National Anthem in YOUR COUNTRY IN ENGLISH ? ? ?

And, because I make this statement

DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!!!

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE IN MY COUNTRY.

Welcome to come through like everyone else has.

LEARN THE LANGUAGE

Get a sponsor !

LEARN THE LANGUAGE

Get a place to lay your head !

LEARN THE LANGUAGE

Get a job !

LEARN THE LANGUAGE

Live by OUR rules !

LEARN THE LANGUAGE

Pay YOUR taxes !

LEARN THE LANGUAGE

And

LEARN THE LANGUAGE!

LIKE ALL OTHER IMMIGRANTS HAVE

IN THE PAST!!!

AND PLEASE DON'T DEMAND THAT WE HAND OVER OUR LIFETIME SAVINGS OF SOCIAL

SECURITY FUNDS TO YOU

TO MAKE UP FOR ''YOUR'' LOSSES.

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then

YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

When will AMERICAN'S STOP giving away THEIR RIGHTS???

We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards not to

offend anyone. But it seems no one cares about the AMERICAN that's being

offended!

WAKE UP America !!!

If you agree - pass this on...if you don't agree - delete it and KNOW YOU ARE A

PROBLEM IN OUR COUNTRY ! ! !

Yep! I passed it on...

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,



Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct
slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and
jewelry
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.



In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as

Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs
such as

NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the
system.



Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems,
but to no avail.



What can I do?



Signed,



Desperate.







Dear Desperate,



First, keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating
system.



Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download
Tears
6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
application
works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the
applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please
note
that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Flatulence
and
Snoring Loudly Beta.



Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control
of
all your system resources.)



In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.



In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0
and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.





Tech Support