I've always been intrigued by the Phil Collins song "In the Air Tonight." I volunteered for a couple years at a local radio station setting up a huge fireworks display synchronized to music. "In the Air Tonight" would be the song that was always played right before the show began, and I was always mesmerized by its dual sense of forboding and anticipation.

I felt an even greater affinity for the song when I heard the story behind it. Mr. Collins had been going through a very emotionally-distressing divorce, and had been suffering from lots of negative and despairing feelings. Then one day, almost as abruptly as if by magic, he felt a sense of peace and hope, and was able to look at all his realities firmly in the eye. You can hear in the lyrics his feelings of assurance tinged with victory.

I've now come to a period of profound transition in my life. I'm coming to terms with my beliefs, my inspirations, and my dreams. Being honest and open about these changes is going to cause major upheaval in many areas, mainly family, and it's been fear of this that's held me back for quite some time. Now however, I truly feel as if things are out of my control, and I must either be the person I wish to be, or cease to exist.

I'm going to look at my realities firmly in the eye. There are entities and elements in my sphere that need to hear these words, and they need to hear them from me:

"Well if you told me you were drowning/I wouldnot lend a hand/I've seen your face before, my friend/but I don't know if you know who I am/Well I was there and I saw what you did/I saw it with my own two eyes/So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been/It's all been a pack of lies."

I think I truly enderstand how he was feeling. I do feel this coming in the air.

And I have been waiting for it my whole life.

Blessings,

A very Happy Thanksgiving to all my EF friends and their families! This place has truly been a blessing to me! I'm grateful to everyone who has made me feel at home in the world of the Fae. I'm very much an Eyeore so, from the bottom of my heart, "Thanks for noticin' me."

Love and Blessings.

~ Jason

 

After overcoming a short but significant Facebook addiction, I am now back on EF to stay! Here are some highlights from our Summer...

We got to attend the fifth annual World of Faeries festival in Elgin, IL! It is organized by Gloria Yaeger and her husband David. Dave is a member of the Blessed Order of Greenmen, and I got to participate in my very first March!

 

Here I am in all my Green glory!

 

 

My daughter Lauren met a new faerie friend, Aislyn. She's the daughter of my fellow Boggie Brad. Here they are enjoying the music of Elvendrums!

 

 

Here is Lauren visiting with the Living Statue

 

 

We spied several pixies here and there...

 

 

Lauren enjoyed the flower garden and the tea party!

 

Finally, sweet faerie dreams as we leave for home.

 

 

 

We also had fun this summer visiting the Douglas-Hart Nature Center in Matoon, IL. They have lots of programs for families, and a wonderful forest and prairie to explore!

 

 

Here Lauren is making some crafts...

 

   

...and hanging out in the woods...

 

 

...and exploring the enchanted waters...

 

...and teaching Mom and Dad about Illinois wildlife...

 

 

...and joyously discovering it for herself...

 

 

...and even taking some surprisingly impressive pictures for a 3-year-old!

 

Well, I'll be posting more random thoughts and meditations. Everyone enjoy the rest of their Autumn!

 

The silver sky sings a duet with the still-emerald grass. The rainwater glistens on the bark of the now-bare trees. There is mist on the horizon, and secrets on the wind.

~ Jason

People are drawn to the Faery world because they love nature, right?  And I do.  I always have.  Sort of.  I remember walking my paper route as a kid and cutting through peoples' yards.  I can remember all my favorite little secluded garden spots. places that just seemed to have a feel of being magical or enchanted.  Places with flowers (I like the deep blue and purple ones). Birdbaths.  Moss and vines growing on the sides of houses and barns.

So why the hell do I always seem to be stuck inside the house?  Why did I neglect my vegetable garden for two years in a row and let it become overgrown with weeds?  Why do I practically run from my car to the house when I get home from work?  And why oh why do I make some excuse when my soon to be 3-year-old daughter wants her daddy to take her outside and push her in the swing?

Oh a few obvious reasons come to mind.  Heat.  Humidity.  My allegries.  Mosquitos.  But those things will all be gone in the fall, and I'll probably still be lying on this couch with my nose stuck in a book or my laptop.

Why would someone like me be drawn to Faerie when here lately I seem to want to avoid nature at all costs?  Why do these four walls seem to be so essential to me?  I love the breeze in my face, the smell of a fresh rain, a slow walk down a forest trail.  Why do I practically have to pry myself out of my chair to go and enjoy them?  Am I hiding from something?  Is there something I'm afraid to face?

That's what my Mammaw always used to say.  We've all heard the cliche, "It'll look better in the morning," or been told to "sleep on it," but I like the way she said it.  "It'll look better in daylight."  There's just something about light, isn't there?  Morning light especially.  Something that happens at the twilight transition to dawn.  It works on our hearts somehow.

Last night I was up until 1:30 working on two speeches I had to give at 8:00 this morning.  I had been given three weeks to work on them, and I had waited until the last minute.  Hadn't looked up any sources or anything.  I was frustrated, mad at myself for procrastinating the way I always do.  I was remembering all my days off when I had gone ahead and taken my daughter to daycare so I could "work on my stuff for class," only to waste the day surfing the web and watching movies.  Unforgivable.  And now, here I was, paying for it.

At 1:30 I had finally gotten one of them more or less finished, but I had run into a brick wall with the second.  Couldn't find any good information, just completely lost.  I decided I would just go to bed.  I would just have to make the second speech later and take the lost points for being late.

My daughter had fallen asleep next to my wife in our bed.  I set my alarm and slid in next to her.  She snuggled up to me in her sleep and put her little head on my shoulder.  Feeling surrounded by their love, I fell asleep.

For some reason, my eyes popped open 5 minutes before my alarm would have gone off.  I marched back to my computer, found some good sources right away, and finished my second speech in half an hour.  I went to class and gave them, and got a B on the first and an A on the second.

A few weeks earlier I had read my daughter the story of The Shoemaker and the Elves (http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/shoemaker/index.html).  I was astounded at how my experience of last night fit the story so perfectly.  Like the shoemaker, I truly believe that I had Help.  But the new lesson I took away from that myth was the same one Mammaw taught me long ago.  Whatever the problem, daylight will somehow make it look better.

A few minutes ago my wife just learned that her great aunt just died from altzheimer's. 

We're going to bed to wait for daylight.