Too many times I have read that in order to be happy, we must accept and embrace who we are - our strengths and our weaknesses - and yet often in the same 'acceptance' message we are given a grand list of things we should and should not do, aspects of our self that we should try to change and behaviours we should avoid. We are told not to be aggressive, controlling, passionate, or competitive, or judgemental. Instead we should exist in a world where we feel unconditional love for others. We should be gentle, be kind, be understanding and compassionate.

But tell me, by avoiding, by repressing and by changing who we are to fit this mould of gracious spirit and beauty, are we truly being accepting of our self? Are we truly loving our self by allowing others to label aspects of our individual personalities as good or bad? Or are we once again listening to another outside source who seeks to tell us how we should behave and live? Do we change because we truly want to or because someone in a position of standing tells us that we need to? Do we accept our true 'self' warts and all, or do we change who we are so that others find it easier to accept us?

To walk a path of honesty one must be true to one's self. To change who you are, to avoid or repress aspects of your nature is to live a lie. Yes, we all have within us the ability to do harm to our self and to others, but by truly accepting our weaknesses we also take responsibility for them. What we do with them is our choice.

It is better to know yourself intimately, to understand your nature in all of it's beauty and ugliness, and to change destructive behaviour into constructive behaviour; to utilise it in a manner that improves who you are as a person. Anger can be used to create beauty, aggressive methods can be used to bring swifter resolution, especially in healing, competitiveness can be the fuel that helps you achieve a goal, judgement can keep you safe from harm, control can help you focus your talents and achieve an outcome. Only one rule should be adhered to - do no harm.

Don't avoid being you. Don't believe that aspects of your personality are weaknesses just because you read it in a magazine or book, especially if those aspects of your nature have improved who you are and your life. Embrace being you. Love being you.

Yesterday I said that Love is something that connects us to the Source, to Gaia, to those around us. But it is impossible to embrace a message of 'unconditional love' for others if we cannot embrace the same message for our 'self' and by allowing others to tell us who we should be and how we should behave we do exactly that.