I got diagnose a few weeks ago. I was hiding it till now only telling handful of friends for some reason I felt ashamed I don't know why maybe because it's not talked about much anyway I got lupus and christmas was the worse this yr because I am flaring up. We spend christmas around my bed instead of in the lounge room next to the tree. I dislike christmas anyway so we made a family descion to celebrate hanuake and have the pressies on the 8th day that way we miss the chrissy rush and we don't have to be so stress out about shoping for the kids.

Today was the worst day though the flare up is full going it hurt when I breathed for few hrs today and I nearly had a bad fall and my sisters came over after taking the kids out for the day to the shops and they both didn't want me to move but stay in bed so I missed spending heaps of time with them. I miss my sisters I only see them every few mnths and my baby sister I adore she is the one I look up to most out of the whole family she is the most kind spirit person I ever meet. So tonight I am on the laptop in bed looking at stepanie roberts page she is a very talented artist I recommend if you are like me and love art nova and 1920s mix it with fairies and you got some awesome art. Her website is www.stephanieroberts.com. Michelle gave some good advise and told me to paint or draw when I am feeling very emotional just let it out on my drawing, I would have done that today but the pain stop me but as soon as I am feeling better I am going to try that maybe that will help me come to terms with everything. I think I have taken it bad because I was such an active person not home always on the run burning candle at both ends that is what my daughter said tonight I was such active person then I got cancer and came sick after it and that slap me of my feet.  Anyway I am blabbering now I am down tired bit sad and  I guess you can tell it's an off day for me.