I know the Wheel has an up side and a down side, I do experience these. This week seems to have more than one Wheel in motion at the same time.

   I always wonder what the teaching is, and how did I draw this to me. I am curious at what caused this shift in my money. I have been paying minimal attention to, and playing carefree fool, knowing I needed more focus on, and now, the universe has bent just enough to produce results that force me to focus and be creative in a new and better way.

  This always causes discomfort and tension, also some humor and wonderment.

   I am learning how to better manage and play the game. It is all something I wanted, yet remained aloof to, until this week, when the wheel became unhinged from the main axle and my little dream cloud evaporated.

   Quick, get the manual!

   Ahhh, how interesting, walking this warrior comedy act path I have found.

   Online bill pay, sudden computer glitch, I found a vapor lock, communication difficult, like a movie where there is a dark plot.

   Keep walking Jibsea, I say, but, keep your eyes open and let your mind be alert.

   Something interesting is happening, although, I do not see it clearly... only its' shadow.

   What else to do, but, continue on my journey. I feel there is a soft bed and a warm bowl of food just ahead, so, I will keep moving ahead for now. I do not see another door way, simply a different place that I have ventured into.

After work tonight

After a walk tonight

I trimmed a few trees in the dark, with the beautiful street lights assistance, tonight

Suddenly, I looked up at a beautiful, huge tree in my yard.. Wow! Almost strained my neck looking at every branch, arching up like a lovers body, stars twinkling through the baby leaves.

Tonight, I fell in love, again...

Tonight, I realized, again, the blessings I have being on this place, with all these fantastic life forms,

Tonight, I am at peace.

   As long as I can remember, in this life form, I have had encounters with many life forms that are not human... I don't think. But, what are they?

   I can not answer what they are. Funny, still working on exactly what I am. Actually, I can not come up with a lot of answers to questions I have, even though I manage somehow to aquire food, do my laundry, work with others, participate in this... dream/reality.

   Anyone else feel this sort of vagueness about what is?

   I sense these personalities even within myself... the one who talks, the one who listens, the one who tries to be in control, the other weirdo who does manage to be in control sometimes, the one who has had too much caffine, the one that likes to drift off into eternal oneness, the one who is sex goddess of the universe, the one who preforms great skills of math in seconds, the one who suddenly emerges liquid green, the one who remembers how to speak gaalic, the one who is fond of playing tricks on anyone possible... it goes on and on....

   Easily I could be commited for any one of these commets... is there a similiarity in that?

   But... I am sleepy.... perhaps the real me will appear in the morning.... lol.

   Anyway... isn't this fantastic? This living thing... this ability to create... this ability to encounter others.... this ability to feel!

   I am so glad to have found this site. I have looked at many of your posts, and find you all wonderful! This is so great that we can communicate this way with each other. I find it helps me grow and inspires me to be more than I am. It also helps me remember some ot the things I was once, and now long for. I will transform, positively with all the creative energy sent from you, and it will be wonderful. I sense this, just because I feel the seed opening within me at this moment.

   Blessings to all.... and I hope you don't mind my oddness at times.  Jibsea

Is the mental ability to go into psychosis a gift? Sure, we can trace the sensation of all who we think have done us wrong and from there learn forgiveness. Consciousness is the gift of learning what we are capable of. Learning takes us through some very uncomfortable processes, and if we get through, we learn to fear not.

Like jumping off a cliff with no net, living fully aware means understanding there is total freedom when we understand what is within our bodies, namely the brain, the organs, the muscles, the fluids, and the spirit. We are energy within a living machine that is willing to transform with our awareness.

So.. fear not... and dive in.