Okay. So I've mentioned this site to three people in the last three days and realized that I hadn't visited it myself in months. One blog post...from the day I signed up. Pitiful, really. Life can sweep you away, if you let it. Before you know it you're spinning around in a stress-filled little reality that you don't want to admit is of your own making. You've stopped looking in the mirror, or logging on to uplifting sites, or reading the books that make you feel good, or making magic.

But you can turn it all around with surprisingly little effort. Almost none at all. Sometimes all it takes is just stopping. All of it. The spinning. The running. The hyperventilating & the hyperworrying. and,*poof*...there you are again. Sometimes you need to be in the company of good people who help you remember who you are.

I was able to surround myself with good company at my second annual backyard Beltane fest. I almost didn't do it this year...even after the success of last year's gathering. It was because of  The Deck.

At the end of January our little mountain town was dumped on with snow.  A lot of snow. I'd been dealing with the final loose ends of my divorce, including the nerve-wracking process of securing a loan for my home in a crashing sub-prime market. I risked life & limb on the snow-packed roads to drive to the title company to sign the final papers. The long, laborious journey was finally over.

I drove home. Yes...home , with a sense of accomplishment and relief...despite a somewhat terrifying interest rate. When I got home I decided to shovel off the back deck. It usually didn't get too covered in snow, being sheltered by a majestic cedar tree, but some snow had slid off of the metal roof ( my metal roof now...as of 30 minutes ago). It must have hit the deck with a lot of force, because as I stepped onto the wooden deck, it detached from the house and I rode it ten feet down to the ground.

There was a lot going through my mind as I stood there...covered in snow and not really registering at first what had happened. I looked up and saw my two cats looking down at me from the doorway above, with a question mark seemingly floating in the air between them.  The tip of one of my boots was caught under the massive deck, but my toes were miraculously uncrushed. (my friend, Tom, theorized that I actually sprouted faerie wings and floated to the ground).I started laughing uproariously and didn't stop for several hours. I pulled my foot out of my boot so that I could free myself from the wreckage. I was pretty bummed that I had to walk through three feet of snow in the back yard with one bare foot. Oddly enough, the fact that the value of my home had just crashed by a few grand, less than an hour after I'd signed the papers, seemed endlessly amusing. The irony was epic.

As it turned out, (the next day when I could finally suppress my giggles, assess the damage & retrieve my boot) the deck , though solidly built, had only been attached to the side of the house by some nails. That's it. I didn't want to put in a claim on my homeowner's insurance hours after buying the house, so I live with the wreckage. Still. I just haven't summoned in the funds to have the thing fixed yet. It looks a little like the Titanic, sinking into my backyard.

Fastforward to Beltane. I wanted to set the stage for magic...for intention...for dreams and delight. The Deck of Disaster didn't quite seem conducive to the kind of envoronment I was hoping to create. It was downright embarrassing. I considered holding the Beltane gathering at a sattelite location. One by one I called all of my friends...and an understanding group they are. One by one they all declared that they wanted to, once again, celebrate in my backyard, despite the wreckage. They believed in the magic of my sweet little backyard above & beyond the gravity of The Deck. My friends, Christina & Craig (who were sweetly handfasted at the subsequent gathering) loaned me lovely Celtic tapestries with which to deck The Deck. A kids' crafting table was set up in the shadow of The Deck.(a friend had secured it so there would be no aftershocks). The Deck actually ended up being not only a source of merriment at the party, but an honored guest in its own right. A testament to the fact that we had all survived a rough winter and made it through to Springtime and renewed hope.

The celebration was an uber-success. The Maywine was lovely. Christina, Rachel & I had gotten together on a New Moon a month before Beltane and brewed our own wine. It bubbled and fermented on an altar in my kitchen until it was decanted & infused with Strawberries and Sweet Woodruff the night before the party.  Our Maypole was lovely, albeit crookedly wound (I blame this on the Maywine consumption). The food was plentiful & filling. The company was delightful. I felt Blessed and Renewed to be surrounded by such fine fey folk. I felt like Me again.

Exactly one year before, I had set forth my Beltane intentions. At the top of the list had been finally making this house my home. A cozy home for me & my boys. With many more Beltane celebrations in our backyard. My dream had come true. In an ironic, twisted sort of way, perhaps, but welcomed with gratitude and laughter, nonetheless.

 Crafting in the Shadow of Disaster