Lately I have been sent very clear messages by the spirits that I need to let go of my "ghosts" and stop being mean to myself.(Its a very bad habit) Lately I have been calling upon the spirits of the deer and parrot to help me love myself more and stop thinking of myself as generally useless.(people were all mean to me growing up and told me I was generally useless until I started believing them)

I am proud to say that since I have been working on it I have finally grown some fingernails. It feels weird I cannot remember ever having any (I chew them to the finger and start biting the skin when I am nervous usually) Yes fingernails may not sound like a huge deal to most but Its a breakthrough for me to have gone a week without completely chewing them off.

  My elven/spirit/faery friends have been helping me heal and stop my bad habit of torturing myself verbally (I am never mean to others I take it all out on me).

 last night I had a nice meditation under the new moon and was told to fill my medicine pouch with stones that protect and encourage love. Only after I am able to get along with myself and stop doubting my abilities will I be able to progress..

Its real hard for me to talk about this to anyone because I am such a secretive person. I have always kept things to myself so no one could ridicule me or take it away from me as they have done and tried in the past.

But the main point here is I am getting better and look! I have fingernails! =D I also had a dream where I was able to resist the temptation of being mean to myself. Thats also a first!

happy late solstice to all and have a wonderful day!

Hi folks,

as promised I have reappeared! Finals are over as of today after I turn in my self portrait I like to call "the crazy bird lady" (I kinda am lol) Anyhow my garden is starting to bloom and I have spotted lots and lots of birds (and squirrels) at my new bird feeders. The same squirrels come around so much that I have named them. The really big guy is costello and the smaller one is abbot. Still haven't named the baby squirrel I have seen around recently. Lots of my seedlings are coming up that I planted earlier in the year. They are a wild bird flower mix full of plants that produce food and cover for birds. Next I plan to get a large ground feeder and fill it with squirrel food so costello and his family have their own feeder and don't have to destroy my finch feeders for their meals. I'll get photos as soon as the garden gets in full swing =D

Thank you all for your kindess and inviting me to be your friend. I am sorry I am a tad slow to respond and am not very active right now. I am dealing with finals at the moment and some of my projects eat up my energy and time. I just got done with a 17 drawing series to impress the professor so I could pass the class. I worked and he says I passed =D. the drawings were fun to do but really don't mean as much to me as the drawings I do from my mind of the beings I encounter else-where that come out in the form of comic book characters. (boy do those "fine arts" types hate that stuff) either way enough complaining I have that nature of dissapearing and reappearing when the time is right so I am not ignoring anyone or trying to be rude....I am just distracted as always =D

best wishes and have a happy spring.

FLOWERS TO ALL!!!