Driving down the motorway last night a grubby grey van that was once white pulled in front, and scrawled into the dirt were the words -

'Seek the Dark'

It stayed with me all night, kept me awake while my eldest child and his father snored lightly in the bed next to me. These were my muddled thoughts ...

Seek the Dark

Here's wishing to all a bright and merry Imbolc! I wish to you all a moment of sunny hope and happiness as Spring approaches {Although looking through my window at the grey sky I may be being a tad optimistic. But remember! Foul weather means the Cailleach is sleeping. So bring on the rain!!!}

Today has not started well and I am tempted to retreat under the duvet with a bar of Cadburys big enough to sail on, but I am home, and I am here, and this is better. As always seems to happen, I am dashing about this forum trying to catch up on what I have missed; such wonderful things, and such heartbreakingly sad things too. I offer my cheerful congratulations to all who are happily celebrating, I offer a loving hug to all those who need comfort. People here are so wise and compassionate and quite simply so kind, and it has been very touching to read the support and advice that so many offer. I struggle so often to find the words. One in, one out, a relative of mine will gruffly say. My dear old Nan was more fond of the gentle doors closing and windows opening one. Balance, is what I tend to think of. Balance and nurturing is what I see here.

I feel such a fair weather friend as I think of this place far more often than I visit. But I do carry this place and its enchanted folk with me like a little talisman against that so called real world and the aspects of mankind that I have always found so alienating and bewildering. Loneliness has not reared its grey and mottled head since joining this forum.

Thank you Be, thank you Drew! Thank you all of you who make this place so inspiring. Thank you you artists and poets and writers and singers and magical people who slip into the world between such words. I don't think I ever said thank you before, and yet I should, for I have so little else to say and so few words, and I love this place so much. 

Gushing for this morning has concluded, and the need for chocolate has passed. Well, almost. Maybe just a little piece ... I'm sure Brigid understands ... nothing heals like hugs, kisses and chocolate ...

I'm blogging on a weekday in the middle of the day!!!! This is unheard of! And made possible only because my eldest is at school and my youngest managed to empty the toy box in a frenzied whirlwind of activity and had so exhausted himself he is now lying asleep on top of his created chaos. Its a sweet sight.

We woke up this morning to the news that Michael Jackson had passed away. I have nothing really to say on that, except that I hope he's happy over the Rainbow. For some reason I keep seeing him as a child singing Rocking Robin ...

I completely missed Fairy Day yesterday. Infact, even the Solstice passed me by without much notice. I meant to at least light a candle and pause for a moment, but it just didn't happen. I often thought of the Faery Fest in Cornwall though, amazing over the fact it was only a year ago- due to the long bitter Winter it felt further away than that - and wishing I was there, yet knowing that at this stage in my life big events like that just aren't practical. It looked like they had great weather for it. I can't wait to see the pictures in FAE magazine.

I had a small exhibition in the local library. No pictures I'm afraid, faeries in glass cases don't seem to photograph that well. Once upon a time I too was a librarian and I love to catalogue anything and everything, so all my little sculptures were grouped into faery, fairytale, and myth sections, and I sacrificed my own books and dvds for the duration {oooh, that was tough!} so that the inspiration for my own amateur work could be seen; I included Tolkien with LOTR dvds, Arthur Rackham fairy books, Froud books, Labyrinth dvd, Peter Pan, etc etc. I also included FAE and Faerie Magazine, and information on the Fairyland Trust. On top of this I sprinkled an insane amount of glitter, leaves, twigs, dried flowers, pine cones, and more of nature's goodies ... I really tried my best to make it a little enchanted world for people to see. And some months later, when I went to retrieve my belongings, {hands shaking a little from withdrawal symptons} the Head Librarian told me that during my little exhibition they had had many many requests for the books on show, and had to buy in extra copies of LOTR, The Hobbit, Peter Pan, and so on, and were sourcing out the older Rackham and Dulac books as lots of children and parents wanted to read them as well. And so they very much want me to do it again. {Ha! If I make enough sculptures again maybe!} But what a smile that put on my face! In the words of Upsy Daisy - Isn't that a pip??!!   I'll be making wands and wings with children there this summer holiday, which I'm really looking forward to. 

I've updated my photos with some of my new faeries. Is it wrong to have favourites? If so, naughty me, but I love this one so much -

I'd mentioned before that I felt I've gained in skill and confidence somewhat, and have enjoyed creating characters with a slightly darker side. Only slightly though; it seems I can't do sinister if my life depended upon it.

The sky has grown so dark while writing this. Its turned that deep ocean colour that you know is just heavy with rain; infact you can smell the rain. Just gorgeous. Any minute now the clouds will just open up and drench everything, probably as I collect my eldest from school. I love thunderstorms after hot spells, but its a real shame it had to happen today. The University Press {not to be confused with Cambridge University itself} is 425 years old and is having a garden party today to celebrate, and we've been looking forward to it for a while. The boys are going to dress up as wizards. Ah, well...  We'll still go. As Billy Connelly once said; "Get a sexy raincoat and live a little"...

Oooh, the rain's here now. Glorious ....

Oh my, I've just realised I've been on Enchanted Folk for over a year now. Infact, my last blog - May 18th - was exactly a year from when I signed up. Wow. Where did that year go???

Thank you, dear souls, for your kind words after my last blog. Everybody has been so busy and generous I'm a little ashamed of having had such a secular period.

This is such an inspiring place to be... 

Oh, I've been absent from here so long, and I don't like that I've been absent so long. I've missed this place, and the company of kindred souls, and and and ... well, this place is like dipping my toes in the ocean; instantly revitalising.

The cold damp Autumn and wet days leading up to Christmas, days that I usually adore, days of steely skies and twinkling lights and snuggling under the duvet with my children, were marred slightly by me being ill in a way I'd not experienced before. It was horrible and exhausting. And then ... I would say that life started going wrong ... but wrong is not the correct word really. Wrong may have been my view of it, but it wasn't the truth. And I suppose the frosty snap in the air and treacharous layers of black ice were of strange benefit to me, but by that time everything hurt so much, both inside and out ... My legs had completely given out beneath me, and I lay on my back, miserable and frightened, and I was made aware of this character - 

  And suddenly I was forced to see the world from quite a new perspective. The surety of my step was gone. I felt painfully aware of how astringent life could be, of how what is weak can whither and fade away, leaving only that which is, in the most basic sense, meant to endure. Beautiful as it was, I found the Cold Spell just a little bit too cruel to bear. And it wasn't until what I felt to be the gentle touch of Snow came that I began to feel anything like myself again. I think I started to thaw out. When I laughed the sound was less brittle. But the Cold Spell wasn't quite finished; there were still two family bereavements to get through, one coming close after the other, natural thankfully, but heart wrenching just the same. My boys kept me going; impossible to wallow in grief for too long when breakfasts need to be made, when school uniform needs to washed, when bedtime stories need to be read, and then yes, that snuggle under the duvet that I mentioned before, in the middle of the night, almost every night infact, as though they know that late night cuddles are the best medicine for brooding minds.

This must seem a sad blog and I don't mean it to be, because the Winter months weren't completely bleak, just as a Winter's day is not completely bleak. There is always light to be found somewhere, if that doesn't sound too trite. As a family we've had moments of absolute joy; as an artist I feel I've had moments of personal triumph. Genuinely happy times. And I'll write about them here. I will. {My rare thirty minutes in this happy place are nearly ending!}

But I have been very absent, in more ways than one. When the daffodils broke through I was overcome with relief. When I came across the pale blue pieces of a hatched egg I wanted to sit on the ground and weep. It seems to have taken most of the Spring to catch up with myself and now I want to catch up with the rest of this enchanted world.

I'll start now by looking in on old friends and see what new friends can be found ...