Can't believe it's been since September. Wow, and the world keeps going on. I'll write later, I finally found the information I needed to get back in... so to speak. Life is better and worse. I MUST move. Must stay in North County of San Diego, but have to get out. It's crazier then ever.

That's it for now, details later

'Z

Ok, it changes from day to day.  Mom and kiddies have left town for a week. Hubby and I have house to ourselves for 8 days. I am taking a 4 day vacation from the job, over the weekend, but still, I'll be unreachable except an already prearrainged dinner with girlfriend on Friday. Other than that going into hiding.  From the 16th until the 7th I am looking after the nephew while brother goes on the road.  Labor day weekend wasn't as bad as it could have been.  I want to go see the new Cohen Brother's movie, after "No Country for Old Men" it should be a quite light. Got pics from Comic-con, not uploaded yet, loaned to brother in law for a few (weeks) will upload as soon as I get them.

I couldn't decide what to call this blog, if I didn't have family I would have a nice quiet life, no stress, no hassles, no trying to save the world for other people. SIGH.  My brother is off again with KISS for a few days, but being his normal organized self, he didn't bother to contact me until the day before he was leaving to see if I could look after Tyler. It's a holiday weekend this weekend, and I could use the rest, but NOOOOOO, that ain't going to happen. It's started already. Yesterday I swung by bros house, to get the cash he had left me, and my mom and Ty pulled up behind me. Ty had been stung by a sting ray in the ocean, and although I know it hurts, etc, he would just never keep his mouth shut about it. It's constant. Granted, should have just taken him home and toss him in the hot bath so he could relax, but that didn't happen, so after 45 minutes of his grousing, he finally got home, and in the tub, I was stressed, it was 7:30 pm, and I still hadn't gotten home yet. Can I be mad at my brother, or Tyler or both, I don't know. Tyler has many problems, emotional and developmental. It's not totally his fault. My mom emailed me this morning and said he was good for the rest of the evening, and as he had to sit in the tub for an hour, he had dinner in the tub.

I like a nice quiet, peaceful day, with the dogs and maybe a hint of lavendar in the air. Tranquility, not chaos, which is what is going to be for the next 4 days. Spend the night tonight at Tylers, it's closer to my job, tomorrow drive home with Tyler, patch the holes around the house for a party Saturday night, which I am not going to, take Panda, Chris, and Tyler, and hubby back down to San Diego on Saturday, go to Hodads (which if you are ever in San Diego, is the best place to get a hamburger), then go to friends for evening entertainment, then sleep at brothers with all three kids. Then Sunday go to the beach for a beach party, and I think I have to swing by the house to get the dogs, so another 35 miles drive home to get the lads, then an afternoon at the beach. Then Home. But I don't know if I have Tyler until Monday evening or not. I am kind of hoping my mom with pop in Sunday evening and monday, but he's such a handful that it's hard to put that burden on her.  This is my dreaded weekend up coming.

The otherside of the coin, is that on the 10th of September, Kelly is leaving with the kids for a WEEK from a Wednesday to a Wednesday, so I am thinking of taking a couple of days off so as not to have to deal with any kids - because starting the 16th I have 3 weeks of looking after Tyler.  I am tired already.

Ok, it's been a week since I turned 15 for the third time, gosh I like that. My father forgot, my mother gave me a double doll, Little Red Riding Hood on one end, and the grandmother and the big bad wolf on the other. Cool, I have another without the wolf that I got for Christmas when I was about 4, still have it too.  Looked after Tyler for a couple of days, told my brother I would not do it on my birthday, I refuse to do anything for anyone on that day - except me of course.  Went out for a Chinese Dim Sum Lunch in this place called Jasmine with my two best girl-friends - food was awsome - compares to San Franscio - really.  You sit down at the table the the waiters and waiteresses bring the carts around for you to pick what you want. Yummy yummy.  This week consisted of two more PT's now its getting to be 2 1/2 hours long, and another visit to the dentist, but nothing horrendious going on, so all is pretty good on that account.

DIscussed with brother about getting a place together, something with a granny flat, because the two of us can never live together. THen he can go on the road next year with KISS (believe it or not) make tons of money, and Steve and I will care for Tyler, and maybe I can actually get Law School in there too. Exciting things, but one never knows what the future will hold.

I watched the Opening of the Olympics last night, that was very good, and very impressive. As I told a French pen-pal, I thought the lighting of the couldron was cool, but Barcalona still beats the others with the Arrow Lighting. That was impressive. So today is a ramble day, nothing overly exciting, just normal stuff, everyday kind of deals. It's getting late, and I think I'll watch some TV or find a good book. 

It seems weird, I love my birthday, it's the one day of the year that I absolutly do only what it is I want to do. But this year seems weird. 45! I don't feel that old, look that old, or anything else.   I have seen many people who are my age or younger, or older that look much older, act older, or I don't know. I watched Le Vin en Rose last night, oh did I weep, Edith Piaf was only 47 when she died, she looked 80, of course pain killers and booze don't help. John Lennon, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, I am older then they ever made. It seems so weird. Yeah, I use that word alot. I am not famous, I drink a occasionally, and I know for sure my looks are inheritaed, not that I am drop dead, but my grandmother in her 80's have very few wrinkles.  Is it true, that instead of 45 being middle age, it's really the new 30???? I missed 30, that was a very boring and dull time in my life. I am happy, married, have other people's children, need to go to Law School to complete the goal I have, and feel lucky, but I have my ups and downs.  Depression is not unusual at this time in my life, anxiety not either, I control both. But I need to make some changes. I am determined to move early next year. I love the children, but the mother is driving me crazy. It's too much. She's insane, and I've decided that I really don't like her, nor do I really trust her. Ok, getting away from subject at hand. So much going on.  That's it for now.